Some people need to just help themselves. I wanted to cope with it on my own, I thought that I would be finally feeling proud of myself if I could fix myself. I almost lost my identity and values. But this might not work or end tragically also. Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. At first I was stressed about it, but later I realised that my worrying wouldnt change the situation at all. It truly could be your relationship that's to blame. I have been with my girlfriend long distance for over a year now. I know thats going to be the final solution to all this, but is there anything anyone else could recommend? I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. Good Luck!! Ive explained my feelings in the past and she says she understands but makes no difference. But how is it possible? Offer to help her move large pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space. Dude, Peace, Man, you guys are explaining my life. Slowly Im staying more time at home. These people are emotionally selfish they may not do it on purpose but they will take away everything that defines you and then you will be a empty shell . The problem is somewhere else and only specialist can find it. Im not talking about that Mexican guy that lives down the street. She will have better and badder days and she will be back to old pattern. I'm just not the same. In order for her to have a chance at any kind of substantive change and lasting relief, she needs to be working on these issues in therapy. She did not want to fight, and when I thought finally thing would become better, she just said that she did not have time or energy to focus on the relationship, and wanted to focus on herself. So are yours always casting concerned looks? Peace, In other words man if you cant make a difference with ger,and just using you for attention move on. You are an enabler when you take on others problems to the point where they become your own. Giving a quick comeback or getting angry will reinforce his behavior. Step by step. She doesnt want to leave me either, because if she does she says she will kill herself. If you would like to talk to a therapist or counselor, you can use our site to locate one in your area. Whatever the reason may be (unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, etc. I even offered to pay for the consultation costs. I also have depression. About me and my girlfriend! I am opinionated and very understanding. No one feels superior or inferior to the other." I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. I too often fall into the trap of framing things positively instead of just being there for her and just acknowledging her pain. You're so shallow. Driving me to the point where my own happiness is at an all time low. It is sad, my girlfriend has depression and hates to go out. That sounds like my issue too. Being active/yoga, eating healthy and drinking lots of water can help a lot a lot. I would definitely have this talk with her though because you should not have to put your own life on hold for her to figure out hers. What's my issue, and what steps can or should I take that would help both her and me? Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. I live with her in college and my exams have not been going well. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. If so, it could be that your relationship is wearing you out. When the relationship isn't secure, however, you might feel this nagging sense of jealousy towards everything and everyone. I was in the same situation the past three and a half years. I looked it up. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. There are so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and therefore so many ways it can drag you down. my girlfriend has depression and is anorexic. His moods got worse, we have to do whatever he wants to do, I am too scared to loose him but Ive already lost myself, I dont recognise myself anymore I was once this girl who didnt need anyone, kept everything to herself, let medication deal with my emotions now I sit and cry myself to sleep and feel so hopeless. Because of my own childhood, and my moms depression as a kid, I reflexively push her away when she gets very depressed, and have trouble acknowledging what shes going through. I tried to break up with her but,she couldnt let me ago, how cant she,shes been saying were drifting apart were nothing you dont care about me just stop it.and now shes depressed,or think she is, and Im the one getting all the thoughts all the sadness. Your girl might decide differently. It was a no-win situation for me. We had went there to plan for an engagement, but all she had for us was a rejection, simply because I don't own a house. My girlfriend has jealousy along with paranoia, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and some depression. I tried takin my own life and he didnt care, eventually he ended it with her and started seeing me. Maybe your girlfriend finds talking to her friend, who also has the same kind of problem, helpful in some way. you're being dragged down by your partner, suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly, the balance between sleep and wakefulness, leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. ago Welcome to r/dating_advice! The text is most likely a part of an image, then. Im so tired now and giving her space and to myself too while figuring what I should do, to stay or leave? The fact that shes still hanging around him enforces that theyve cheated. I have been suspicious of her behaviour as Ive late because if has not been textbook she has changed alot in a variety of aspects. Wow. She is very complexed about her weight, her mental issues and the time she has lost in her life. She did take medications she did try psychiatrist. When I feel she is back to her slump again I back off and do my own thing for awhile. Now I am devastated, saddened and hurt by the fact my beautiful girlfriend (now ex) is so unwell and theres nothing that I can really do, except offer my support and love. Day in or out, shell leave me broken again, I know it, just dont know when. I used to be able to help her cheer up and have a good time with her whenever she was sad but now,I cant do anything without getting an attitude from her or saying something stupid. Send a package with love letters or get some flowers delivered to her house. I still see him he wrote 2 suicide notes to me and his dad ( when I asked him to leave) and produced them for me to read. Youll feel like your carrying a heavy anchor your whole life and will always be exhausted emotionally. That is why she will fail. She will text or call me out of blue and tell how much she appreciates my patience with her. So I tried communicating a little more and making plans. Seems like a pattern, a thing to analyse better. Ive been with my girl for over 4 months now, but we have been good friends for more than 7 years. Sounds to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses. It may be time to step back and focus on yourself. yesterday she said dating isnt working for either of us, the things that we need to change are things that cant chnange. And thats when shit will get unbearable for the two of you. I ask if theres someone else, she says no. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic way, and since that day we are together. I love her so much, but I know Id rather deal with these issues now than a year or 2 into a relationship. Compatibility Mechanical: 64 Bit (x64) Like: if he was carrying better for me I would not feel ugly, stupid etc, if he would really love me I wouldnt feel useless etc. Reading all these comments makes me very sad and confused. I can not just do sex all the time Im not a robot. I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. This really got to me, he is my first love! I have thought about leaving, but I'm afraid it would devastate her, and I truthfully don't know that she would survive it. Method 1 Addressing It Right Now 1 Avoid reacting immediately. If signs point to your partner, it's time to make a change. Most of her adult life was spent trying to stabilize from bipolarity. Also, it is very important that a psychiatrist, and not a general practitioner, be managing her medication. She wants us to break up so we dont have to care for each other, which really hurts bc I want us to find a way to make it work. i fell as if i cant help her, im not good enough to make her happy although i try so hard and its making me doubt myself more and more. I started to be rude and aggressive. One day I thought that she wanted to seek attention by saying that so I confronted her. It drove me to breakdown myself. So what am I to her now?? If you are tired or stressed I cant do sex. You're so tired. Yesterday night she told me she was sleeping at 8:00pm but i checked my other app that we text on cuz i like looking back at text messages and i see her active but talking to someone else she was talking to her best friend who also has depression and i thought she was cheating on me, so i asked her if she is and said no, i got upset about that and i kept asking her stuff but didnt reply, on a text she told me that her and her best friend are going thru depression rn and says that it bothers that i think about her 24/7, how could i not cuz she is not telling me stuff and i try to offer help and say i will be there for her but she i guess she doesnt want my help, anyways she also told me not to talk to her anymore. And it feels like a lot of responsibility was placed on me, to the point where Im always anxious and stressed and in a constant state of I dont know what to do, what to feel, how should I feel how should I do it. Look man its getting to the point where youre gunna have to tell some form of authority, whether it be the police or something else either way, shes gunna bring you down if nothing changes and youll become just like her in a flash. I am going through the same. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. Welcome to Tissue Issues, an advice column from comedian Ash . If you haven't been feeling like yourself lately, your romance may be to blame. Tristen, Armand, sounds like your girlfriends have real life boyfriends too. She is loyal and would care for me no matter what but I cant keep bringing my own life down too to be on her level. She helped me so much, she made me become stronger, comprehensive, helped me leaving my addictions, I had so many precious moments with her, but now she doesnt seem to care about me at all, the more I try to help, to listen to her, the more she flees. "Trust is lost and conflict often results in anger and finger pointing." Youve managed to take care of your girlfriend and remain connected enough to yourself to come up with these questions. Hugs. but she made fun of me she said she wasnt going to read this BS. Yes, we all need help and support and Im in it til death do we part. Ad by TruthFinder Have you ever googled yourself? She talks about it so much now that I dont even get shocked anymore. Im different then most I let her know I care everyday and all day but at same time I have tons of hobbies that detract from everything. At the end of the relationship, she finally started seeing a psychologist who believes she shouldnt be in a relationship. Hey, lately iv been feeling more and more distant from my gf. Also, if her depression has lasted for years with no improvement, it might be time to look at changing the treatment plan. Unfortunately, there seems to be nothing I can do when she feels down. Look Ive been dealing with depression for years as well and yes at times i feel a bit hopeful and at other times i just want to die. 1 shes too lazy 2 her parents dont let her. Today she told me shes ditching all her meds and is just gonna do weed therapy. Im talking about Yeshua, the son of the God of Israel. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! I feel like if I do shell ask why I havent been talking to her, she wont message me for atleast 2 days if I do. We r loving since 5-6 years! She didnt want to go to my graduation. (Yikes.). She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants to be around my arms! I deserve happiness, everyone does! Psychiatrists are the experts in the medical treatment of depression, and they will be able to provide better care than a general practitioner. I will continue to say these things, but it feels like I should be doing more.). Sign up and Get Listed. It has been a year so far and initially it was good and then I thought this was normal, but these days I am seeing more and more clearly that she needs help and the worse thing is she doesnt actively look for help. At the end of the day, I just believe that depression was just an excuse. I'm seeing shapes behind the curtain. She has lost sleep all night, and so did I. 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